eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
