then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
