I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
