can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
