But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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