Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize