His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
