his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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