PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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