its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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