my sisters under your porch take her home
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
