I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
