Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
