You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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