I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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