Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
