Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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