We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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