he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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