You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize