Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I came so hard my ears popped.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
