Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
