Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
