Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
