I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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