Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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