obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He felt like a one man threesome
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
