Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
