"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
now i know why i became what i already was.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
