Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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