I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He felt like a one man threesome
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
They have beer where we have blood.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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