I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
