We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
