Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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