is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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