first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
