A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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