Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
