there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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