Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
