"it" just moved
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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