I'm really into asian looking animals
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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