Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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