she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well I just put wine in my tea
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
