Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
