I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
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Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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