Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize