Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It's just like the Real World with babies
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
