I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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