Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My vagina is very pro this idea
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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