That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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