You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
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So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
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As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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