I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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