Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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