I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Randomize
