he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
