I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
