She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize