I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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