Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze