Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

if only i could text you this smell

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Im watching someone hooking up in the library

(970): View more from Colorado

procrastination at its finest

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?

(917): View more from New York City

what kind of party is this?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the best kind ever

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(785): View more from Kansas

So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(860): View more from Connecticut

Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty

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(713): View more from Texas

I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk

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(217): View more from Illinois

This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.

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(678): View more from Georgia

He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.

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