If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.