I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop