Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.

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  (334): Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me. http://tfl.nu/y7m9
  Replies (24) Good night (2169) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings

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  (605): For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings http://tfl.nu/sahq
  Replies (30) Good night (2790) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.

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  (972): Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy. http://tfl.nu/2xr2
  Replies (52) Good night (905) Bad night (9546) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."

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  (330): Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy." http://tfl.nu/8mx4
  Replies (15) Good night (3493) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.

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  (702): You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever. http://tfl.nu/mih5
  Replies (13) Good night (5041) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.

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  (913): We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer. http://tfl.nu/ud7u
  Replies (21) Good night (4262) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.

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  (970): I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now. http://tfl.nu/y6ao
  Replies (10) Good night (2667) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.

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  (563): For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in. http://tfl.nu/kbab
  Replies (12) Good night (2494) Bad night (793)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.

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  (802): It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside. http://tfl.nu/56u9
  Replies (21) Good night (4055) Bad night (1197) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.

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  (989): Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings. http://tfl.nu/rih3
  Replies (5) Good night (2468) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.

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  (301): OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch. http://tfl.nu/e5zg
  Replies (9) Good night (699) Bad night (2612) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.

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  (914): I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP. http://tfl.nu/wc3n
  Replies (12) Good night (1939) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?

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  (607): I drank butter last night, who am I to judge? http://tfl.nu/jfzo
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?

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  (218): Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober? http://tfl.nu/gl6q
  Replies (3) Good night (792) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients

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  (248): They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients http://tfl.nu/50sw
  Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt

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