Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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