Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (737): View more from Texas

  You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?

  (1-737): View more from Texas

  That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there

  (737): View more from Texas

  It's my parent's restaurant

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  (737): You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot? (1-737): That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there (737): It's my parent's restaurant http://tfl.nu/0xzo
  Replies (8) Good night (1060) Bad night (2695)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.

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  (616): The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes. http://tfl.nu/pvjr
  Replies (43) Good night (3375) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.

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  (763): Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault. http://tfl.nu/lznh
  Replies (115) Good night (6479) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'

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  (484): I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock' http://tfl.nu/bqqm
  Replies (12) Good night (4758) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  it's like russian roulette but with a penis

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  (480): it's like russian roulette but with a penis http://tfl.nu/nnes
  Replies (12) Good night (2528) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  what is it with giant penises always finding me

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  (216): what is it with giant penises always finding me http://tfl.nu/ji8j
  Replies (26) Good night (4209) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I smell like Captain Morgan and tears

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  (860): I smell like Captain Morgan and tears http://tfl.nu/pqes
  Replies (11) Good night (1354) Bad night (2725)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?

  (805): View more from California

  and why are they spooning a flamingo?

  (714): View more from California

  they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.

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  (805): Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor? (805): and why are they spooning a flamingo? (714): they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice. http://tfl.nu/n0m3
  Replies (14) Good night (4100) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.

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  (215): i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo. http://tfl.nu/xre9
  Replies (8) Good night (1464) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?

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  (518): The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right? http://tfl.nu/fa38
  Replies (8) Good night (1128) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.

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  (602): It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart. http://tfl.nu/zh66
  Replies (4) Good night (503) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.

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  (734): I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued. http://tfl.nu/8osh
  Replies (8) Good night (1075) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!

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  (864): my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year! http://tfl.nu/rim4
  Replies (8) Good night (771) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left

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  (775): FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left http://tfl.nu/965v
  Replies (7) Good night (348) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.

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  (850): He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes. http://tfl.nu/l8op
  Replies (4) Good night (1118) Bad night (419)

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