You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
