Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
