NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
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Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
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I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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