the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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