My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
