idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
