He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
