dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
What drink are we having for lunch?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
