my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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